A Down Day

Last night, we had our yearly lab testing done at Troy's work.  It's absolutely not my favorite thing to do, but, unfortunately, it's required by our insurance company.  On a positive side, comparing my weight from this year to last year at the same time, I'm 39 lbs lighter.   My total weight loss since April 23, 2012 is 47.6 lbs...I actually gained weight since last year's testing and then lost it..thank goodness.  I have a terrible problem seeing any change in myself.  I went through a period when I felt awesome and I could, at that time feel a difference.  Today (and the past couple of weeks), I feel awful.  I'm down and depressed, I feel hopeless, worthless and seem to be a failure.  Troy's employer has tons of windows in their entrance.  I'm appalled to see my reflection at this point.  I wanted to be so much further in my weight loss journey, and I wanted to maintain my motivation...but both are slipping.  Inside, I'm lost and empty and I'm embarrassed for Troy to have to be seen with me...he deserves so much better.   The sad thing is that I know better, I know he loves me regardless of what size I am, but actually believing seems nearly impossible for me. I still have around 100 lbs to lose... and I know I have to stick with this.  I just wish I could accept me for who I am, for the person God made me and stop trying to fit into the mold that I THINK everyone else wants me to fit in.  Tomorrow's a new day...and hopefully a better attitude.

It's a Good Day!

This is me...today.  It's a good day!  I've lost a total of 36.8 lbs and 17 total inches in just over 100 days! Unfortunately, I have a hard time seeing any difference, but obviously, things are changing.  This morning, I was getting ready to leave for work and kissed Troy goodbye...he wrapped his arms around me and said ummm....guess what I'm doing...his hands were touching in the back!  Honestly, I don't know how long it's been since he's been able to reach around me..I'm going to guess it's been years.  I'm in a good place in my life right now...and only headed for even better places.

Seriously! 250 Miles?

I got an email this morning from my fitbit.  It turns out that since May 12, I have logged 250 miles of walking!  Oh my gosh...that's a lot of walking!  It's only 30 miles short of walking all the way to the Iowa state line!  

Woo Hoo 31 lbs lost!

Wow...this morning My Fitness Pal told me I had been logging for 80 days and had lost 31 lbs so far!  I'm excited!  I still have 122 lbs to go, but at least I can see some progress on the scale.  Unfortunately, I don't see much difference in the mirror.  I'm going to guess that I will always have a hard time seeing me how I really look.  For now, that's ok.

Yay Me!

As of this morning my scales are down 18.4 pounds!  I'm excited...just 125 more to go!  I skipped out on my walk this morning.  My left hip is really bothering me.  It's not terrible pain, but just enough to cause me to limp.  I'm resting it for now...

Exercise..Exercise..Exercise

This morning I got up determined to try the Xbox Fitness game again.  Unfortunately, there's not enough room so the sensor can't find me the whole time and we have a huge baby that just wants to be held all the time!  Needless to say, I gave up.

I didn't want to break my routine of keeping moving, so I headed out for a walk.  This time, I walked the east side of the tracks with Rudy...not sure if he is much of a guard dog, but he sure makes me feel more at ease to be alone.  

I finished up with about a 2 mile walk...not too bad.