Scream Eggs

Seriously? I can't pass these up at Easter time, and now here they are at Halloween time...thanks Cadbury...

A Down Day

Last night, we had our yearly lab testing done at Troy's work.  It's absolutely not my favorite thing to do, but, unfortunately, it's required by our insurance company.  On a positive side, comparing my weight from this year to last year at the same time, I'm 39 lbs lighter.   My total weight loss since April 23, 2012 is 47.6 lbs...I actually gained weight since last year's testing and then lost it..thank goodness.  I have a terrible problem seeing any change in myself.  I went through a period when I felt awesome and I could, at that time feel a difference.  Today (and the past couple of weeks), I feel awful.  I'm down and depressed, I feel hopeless, worthless and seem to be a failure.  Troy's employer has tons of windows in their entrance.  I'm appalled to see my reflection at this point.  I wanted to be so much further in my weight loss journey, and I wanted to maintain my motivation...but both are slipping.  Inside, I'm lost and empty and I'm embarrassed for Troy to have to be seen with me...he deserves so much better.   The sad thing is that I know better, I know he loves me regardless of what size I am, but actually believing seems nearly impossible for me. I still have around 100 lbs to lose... and I know I have to stick with this.  I just wish I could accept me for who I am, for the person God made me and stop trying to fit into the mold that I THINK everyone else wants me to fit in.  Tomorrow's a new day...and hopefully a better attitude.