This morning, instead of going for my normal walk, I decided I would try going for a bike ride alone. I found that I just don't get quite as much "therapy" out of it as I do with walking. It's harder to "hear" my world at 9 MPH. I hadn't made it but a couple of miles when a van passed. The lady driving was covering her mouth laughing at me. I was so ticked off the rest of the ride. I ran multiple Facebook status updates through my head trying to figure out the perfect one to post about the situation...like that was going to help anything. I ended up not posting any of them. I may not be a size 4...or 8...or even a size 10, but I do have just as much right to be on a bike in public as anyone else. I went from being fighting mad to fighting back the tears on the road back home. I have spent my entire life fighting my weight and fighting back the tears caused by insults from people who just don't care. I'm 41 years old...honestly, no one other opinion of me really matters...I just can't seem to really believe that though. I've spent so many years trying to do my best to meet everyone's expectations of me and not nearly enough years trying to accept me for who I am. I may never be a size 8, and I may not make it down to a size 10, but it doesn't give anyone the right to make me feel less worthy to live in this world. I will continue to ride and I will continue to get healthier...one day I will be able to say I won this battle. For today, however, I'll take my wins a little at a time. This morning I was able to ride up this hill on my bike without stopping and walking...
It may not look like much from the picture, but believe me it's a challenge. After 3 weeks of riding, last night was the first time that I was able to make it up it with a stop in the middle...things have no other way to go but up...one hill at a time!
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