Turning 40

In only 3 short weeks, I'll be turning 40.  I really didn't used to think it was a big deal...so what...it's just a number.  I think it's harder this year, because it's always been "we'll" be turning...what ever age it may be.  This year, my twin moved 1400 miles away...so I'll be turning 40...alone...  I've been really reflecting on my life, and have realized that I've not accomplished much of anything...I know, depressing.  Aside from being married and having 3 kids, I haven't developed as a person much past my high school years.  I'm still terrible in social situations, can't talk in public and still can't make a decision if my life depended on it.  I analyze everything to the point it can't be analyzed anymore.  All the things I thought I was in high school, have become a reality now.  While my sister got her degree and moved on with her life,  I was, and still am, too afraid of failure to complete anything.  Too afraid to take a risk. I work for my parents...it's a "safe" job for me.  I have become everything I never wanted to be.